I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
