That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
