jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
cat food counts as protein by the way
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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