Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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