Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Damn victory sex feels great
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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