I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
