those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
