I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
