FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
