I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
