Screwed.edu
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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