He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
