remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize