i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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