My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
