Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
