Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
