is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
