i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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