end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
