He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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