just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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