i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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