Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
