grandma shit on top of the toilet
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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