Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
