apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
