he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
