hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
