can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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