Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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