Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
