she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
false alarm, still single
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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