Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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