Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize