In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
