It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
