Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
