I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
