just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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