is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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