when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
