is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
