okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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