Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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