is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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