So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
