Where is the hickey?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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