I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
