We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
