Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
