I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
