I wish I only lived at night.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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