i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
