They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
