I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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