I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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