don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
