she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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