By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm bleeding and have questions
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
