He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize