He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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