So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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