Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
